


Bootylicious Barton

by BWolf_20



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint has a firm bubble butt, Clint is the target of butt jokes, Gen, Inappropriate Humor, Naked rear end, Natasha has skill, Object Insertion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6723124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt fill:<br/>Clint is dubbed the 'Best Butt of the Avengers' in some sleazy magazine and the team can't stop making fun of him -and this line in the article in particular: '...deliciously firm bubble butt you could easily bounce a hundred quarters off of at the same time'</p><p>Cue the team doing their utmost to hit Clint's butt with different coins to see if it's really true or not -often at the most annoying and improper moments (while Clint obviously does his best to avoid the projectiles).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint learns he's got the top booty of them all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a previous fill for a prompt that was pretty serious, so I thought I'd do one that was silly and funny.  
> By the way here were the bonuses for the prompt:
> 
> +1 if Coulson is the one who finally nails it -without having even been in on it 
> 
> +100 if Natasha decides to get rid of her left-over quarter (and simultaneously proving her awesomeness despite not winning) by skillfully lodging it between his ass cheeks from a safe distance.

Clint headed into the living room when he heard the sound of laughter and there he found the guys with their backs to him. Tony was doing most of the laughing at something in his hand, but Bruce, Rhodes, and Natasha were joining in. Steve looked a little embarrassed and seemed to be doing his best to keep from laughing hard, while Thor was beaming.

“What’s going on?”

They turned to him and Tony whistled. 

“Congratulations Barton.”

“For what?”

Tony turned what he was holding to him, grinning, and Clint snatched it up. 

It turned out they were laughing at some article in some sleazy magazine called ‘Bootylicious’. The article gave a top ten for the ‘best butt’ of famous people, and he just happened to have won the number one spot for ‘best booty’. To emphasis his humiliation, there was a close up pic of his clothed bottom with a photo-shopped crown placed on top of it. 

“WHAT!” Clint cried indignantly. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Go on, read it,” Natasha urged.

“’There are many impressive buns in the world, especially when it comes to the female genre of stars, but without a doubt, no ass compares to that of the member of our own Avengers – Clint Barton. After intense research and many interviews from those who’ve met or caught a glimpse of the hero in action, it’s unanimous. Those perfect, glorious orbs create a deliciously firm bubble butt you could easily bounce a hundred quarters off of at the same time. The Avengers are definitely lucky to have such an ass on their team.’”

Clint closed it and threw it aside.

“Come on guys, that’s trash.”

“Really?” Tony asked with a smirk. “They did intense research to get to the butt of the issue.” 

The others laughed, and even Steve couldn’t hold back this time.

“They don’t even know me. It’s just some stupid joke.” Clint hated how it was starting to make him more aware of his derriere. 

“It seems to me they hold your form in high regards,” said Thor.

“Thor,” Clint growled.

“And here I thought Tony was the ass of the team,” said Rhodes.

“There’s a difference between being an ass and having one that gets you notice. Clearly Barton outshines us all.”

“Tony’s just jealous he didn’t make the top ten,” Rhodes went on.

“Alright enough. We’ve got work to do,” Clint stated.

“He’s right,” said Steve. “We can’t just sit here admiring what nature has awarded Clint.”

There were chuckles and Clint groaned and stormed away.

Tony shook his head while giggling.

“I wonder if it’s true.”

“What?” Bruce asked.

“The part about bouncing off hundreds of quarters.” He looked around at them all with an innocent look. “Anybody got any change?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team does target practise on Clint's butt, but only two people prove their skill at nailing it.

For the next couple of days, it was quite annoying for Clint. To his frustration, the team wouldn’t let him forget that article. Phrases like, “Careful, don’t strain those perfect orbs!” would greet him during battle.

Clint would groan and tell them to knock it off and concentrate, but afterwards, he’d catch a glimpse of something round and flat rocketing his way, and just managed to move out of range. 

When Clint walked into the kitchen for breakfast, he rolled his eyes at the sight of a chair with his name plate on the back and a royal purple cushion on the seat, courtesy of Tony. 

“Hey it wasn’t all me.” Tony waved his hands in mock surrender. “Bruce suggested the color.”

Bruce hid a grin and looked away as if ashamed. Clint just threw the cushion aside. And again when he turned away from them, he had to avoid two more flat circular objects targeting his rear. He groaned when he saw they were coins. The others avoided meeting his eyes and acted as if things were normal.

So now Clint had to do some impressive acrobatics to avoid projectiles striking his famous firm bubble butt. 

When Clint was in the middle of doing chin ups in the gym, he felt something graze his upper leg.

“Damn, I was close,” he heard Tony curse.

“You need a more proper swing Stark,” Thor told him.

Clint turned in time to see Thor flinging some gold coin toward him, and he was able to twist away and have him miss.

The next day, Clint spent the day tearing down posters of his crowned clothed butt that were posted around the tower. He headed to the lab, ready to yell at Tony, and found him showing Steve how to print out the copies on his computer.

Steve scratched his head as if ashamed.

“Nothing against you Clint, it’s just…Tony was showing me how to, I mean we didn’t have this tech in my day so…”

Clint just walked away grumbling under his breath. A quick jump, and he was able to miss a dime flying at him.

Sometime in the middle of the night when Clint had to go to the bathroom, he felt something slightly heavy on his bum. When he looked around, he noticed someone had placed a plastic gold crown on it. Clint trashed it immediately.

The final straw was when he had gotten up to refill his popcorn during a movie night, and he felt a nickel hit his lower back. 

“You threw it too low Rhodes,” Tony was saying.

“Oh, you didn’t do any better. You missed him completely.”

“He kicked it out of the way!”

“Alright that’s it. Enough! I’m tired of being the butt of this joke.”

“Oh come on Barton, we have to know now, before you hit the age where that bubble butt deflates,” Tony chortled.

Everyone laughed and Clint rolled his eyes.

“Well forget it, because I won’t let it happen.”

He turned and detoured to the bathroom instead of the kitchen. There, Clint took a moment to look at his ass in the mirror and laid a hand against it. He suddenly found himself wondering the same thing everyone else was.

“I do work out hard. I wonder if you really can bounce a hundred coins off…damn they got me doing it.”

He cursed and left quickly.

A few days later they had a meeting with Fury, going over ways to improve their missions and whatnot. Clint was annoyed when he heard the clink of a coin bounce off the back of his chair. He frowned at his team but he couldn’t tell who’d been bold enough to try and bounce coins off his butt while seated, while Fury was talking. For that reason, Clint leaned back into his chair to protect his precious booty.

When the meeting wrapped up, everyone got up ready to depart, but Clint caught his team and rounded them up for a private lecture. 

“You guys are really something you know.”

As Clint carried on his private meeting, Coulson, who was still seated at the table, was reading over a document in one hand while casually flipping a coin in the other as if bored. 

“Grow up,” Clint finished off saying. And just as he turned, Coulson leaned back and unintentionally flipped the coin backward with enough force that it launched like a rocket, straight at Clint’s ass. 

All the avengers were able to at last know the truth as the coin struck the perfect curve of his rear and bounced off immediately, as if his butt had been a particularly bouncy trampoline.

Clint froze in shock and no one spoke. Coulson looked around, confused at the change in tone around the room.

“Did, I miss something?” he asked.

They broke into laughter, all except Clint and Coulson. 

“I guess that proves it,” said Tony.

Clint shook with anger that was directed at his own ass. 

“Proves what?” Coulson asked.

Clint left before he could listen to Tony explain the joke.

Much later, Natasha was passing Tony and Bruce on the couch when she heard him chuckling. In the corner, Steve shook his head at them. She leaned over and noticed they were looking at an e-mail on Tony’s laptop.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Coulson,” Tony explained. “He wants some type of award for nailing Clint’s ass.”

“Oh please, he may have hit the target, but I can do better.”

“Oh?” Tony said with a raised brow. “How much better?”

“Just wait and see,” she said deviously as she flipped a quarter casually into the air and left the men in wonder. 

The three got to see how much better Natasha could do when they were gathered in S.H.I.E.L.D’s locker room. She had tipped them off about doing something to prove her skill while they were there, while she wasn't. Unbeknownst to them, she was just hidden safely out of sight up in an old vent. She didn’t watch the men change, but kept her ears open for Clint’s presence. 

After getting out of the shower, he entered the area with a towel wrapped around his waist. Tony, Bruce, and Steve were bidding their time so as to see how and what Natasha would do. 

“Feel so much better,” Clint said casually as he reached for a shirt. The others murmured agreements. Then when Clint slipped off the towel, Natasha struck.

Quietly and carefully, she angled her hand just right, then flipped her quarter.

Tony, Bruce, and Steve became aware when the quarter bounced off a pipe, zigzagged into a wall, ricocheted off the top corner of some lockers, then made a furious beeline for Clint’s naked ass just as he was bending down.

Thanks to being freshly washed, the quarter immediately and easily slid between the upper cheeks of his ass before Clint was able to pull his boxers over it. He paused momentarily from being struck, then shrugged, deciding he’d imagined it.

“Bulls-eye,” Natasha whispered, quite pleased with herself as Tony, Bruce and even Steve burst into laughter. Clint looked around frowning as he pulled up his pants, still unaware of the quarter lodged in his crack.

“What?”

“Nothing,” said Tony, “just wondered if you had any change on you.”

Clint just quirked an eyebrow as he shifted to find better comfort in his pants, unknowingly allowing the quarter to sink further in, preventing it from easily falling out, while the boys found humor in Natasha’s new place to deposit spare change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you found it funny and entertaining. I might have added more, but I've run out of ideas the team could do to Clint's rear. I'll just leave you with the question if Clint ever found out and withdrew that quarter ;)


End file.
